reraptured eBook Committee
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Professional quarterback Ted Strongbow is an evangelical heartthrob with hordes of fans. Dr. Tim Van Shrimpy is a self-styled end-times expert with his own popular TV show. Rev. Lewis Ironsides is a pastor with a plan to re-settle Nebraska as a Christian utopia. Kate Russel is a reporter who just wants a big story. Alex is a college student, who just wants Kate.
Oh, and they're all convinced that today is the Apocalypse the rapture, fulfilled prophesies, geopolitical mayhem, fire and brimstone. But if you really know what you want, a little thing like Armageddon can't hold you down.
reraptured eBook Committee
If you are dispensational premil in your escatology, reformed in your soteriology, not reformed in your soteriology, a third string quarterback with a chiseled jaw, a football coach, ever been a member of a tribulation club or any other person in the world and you do not have a sense of humor then caveat emptor. Otherwise, if you don’t take yourself too seriously then you will love this book. This book can best be described as a rapture themed comedy, drama, sports, suspense, Amish romance, semi-biographical, historic, prophetic, action thriller. I know that may sound odd, but to quote the book: “It all makes sense in a weird kind of way.” While reading this soon-to-be modern classic I laughed, I cried I threw up in my mouth a bit. (On second thought it may not be the book’s fault that I cried.) I learned the sound an exploding grenade makes when a young college kid heroically lands on it to save his love. (Spoiler alter: It’s BWAWPH!!!) I will wait with much anticipation for the audio book version to be released. Though I have no inside knowledge, I would imagine it will be read deadpan by the authors and special guests much like they do with a certain tweeters offerings on the Gut Check podcast. (Side note: also do not go check out the podcast if you take yourself overly serious.) On that note I end with a personal note to the authors: “Thanks for a great rapture.”Michael Woodard
@RMichaelWoodard
Lt. Col. Gut Check Army (I took the liberty of giving myself a raise in rank after that review. Hope that’s okay.)
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reraptured eBook Committee Reviews
"No daughter of mine will go Episcopalian, you understand?"
Having once been submerged in a particular conservative subculture, I was deeply refreshed by the wit, insight, and minutiae of reraptured. Read this book if you take the right things seriously, and everything else not so seriously.
I laughed so hard, I nearly reruptured my spleen.
Enjoyed this book. Good humor mixed with a plot any PureFlix movie would be jealous of. Can't wait for the sequel.
re colon raptured is everything that a rapture novel should be. If you read Left Behind as a lad and were disappointed by the 0-dimensional characters and stilted plot, you may be inclined to give up on end-times novels altogether. However, re colon raptured picks up everything left behind by other end-times novels such as interesting characters, Settlers of Catan jokes, and thinly veiled allusions to evangelical football players.
This sensational Dispensensational thriller is a high speed fruitcake (variety of ingredients, not the cake's public appeal) of a read. Each morsel you shove in your mouth contains family-values, midgets, football, CIA, NIV, back-stabing, back-sliding, Carhart, broken hearts, modest wedding dresses, needy emo girls, knees-to-the-groins, blood mist, schematics, automatic guns, overflowing coffee pots, pastors, wannabe Jews, board games, bored adolescents, food courts, and - of course - courtship.
I'm fat & happy from it all. My mission trip to Belize (& by mission trip I mean vacation) was made all the better due to this seminal work being on my .
Update Oct. 2016
Just reread it. Still delicious. I recommend seconds.
So you read the Iliad, Moby Dick, Les Miserables, all of Flannery O’Conner and you just finished the latest book Tim Keller referenced in his sermon. But what will you read now to add to your pretentious reading list that you share with your Reformed Mensa group on Facebook? Enter "reraptured." Subtle in its subtext, meaty in its meaning, profound in its profundity. reraptured is a Dickensian romp concerning the lives of a band of unlikely heroes as they face the end of the ages. This modern day classic weaves a spell-binding tale of love, loss and life that would make even Harry Potter wet his pants. Prepare to laugh, to cry and to vomit (just a little bit). If you are under the age of 18 and/or still live in your parents basement be sure to submit a permission form to read this book to your father via the Vision Forum Headship App (available through iTunes).
The story begins with a young Episcopal priest getting his lights dashed by Tim Van Shrimpy, “Bible Scholar.” The reason Van Shrimpy is rampaging around beating up people is still unclear to me, but realism was sold out when this tale was typed up. Ted Strongbow is a football superstar with few real skills (wait, is this part straight-up parody of actual people?). Rev. Lewis Ironsides has written the book Exactly How to Look and Exactly What to Say If You Want to Marry My Daughter Carol-Anne, which, he says, isn’t exactly arranging her marriage, but it’s a hot item among controlling homeschool moms with eligible sons.
It takes place in a world that has The Honorable Philip Yancey Hospital housed within the Dynex/Lifeway/Excellence in Christian Publishing Kilometer High Stadium, home to the Denver Values football team (Strongbow’s team). The story takes up a whole handful of characters in short, often choppy, scenes that flow together just like the end-times thrillers it intends to skewer. What is bringing all these people together? Their loyalty of dispensational end-times teaching and the belief that they need to be in place before the rapture occurs. But are they mobilizing to be in place to usher in or ward off the rapture?
All of this may lead you to think this is a humorous, perhaps harsh, criticism of dispensationalism, but I assure you it’s only a light poke in the ribs. Look at me. I have my serious face on when I say this is a very silly book. The closest line you get to deep theology is this internal question from one character “If you’ve already missed the dead being raptured and then you die during the main rapture, is it possible to fall through the cracks?” This book can’t even take itself seriously much less present a serious theological thought, so don’t worry about coming across any real jabs at pretribulationism and related theology.
If you are dispensational premil in your escatology, reformed in your soteriology, not reformed in your soteriology, a third string quarterback with a chiseled jaw, a football coach, ever been a member of a tribulation club or any other person in the world and you do not have a sense of humor then caveat emptor. Otherwise, if you don’t take yourself too seriously then you will love this book. This book can best be described as a rapture themed comedy, drama, sports, suspense, Amish romance, semi-biographical, historic, prophetic, action thriller. I know that may sound odd, but to quote the book “It all makes sense in a weird kind of way.” While reading this soon-to-be modern classic I laughed, I cried I threw up in my mouth a bit. (On second thought it may not be the book’s fault that I cried.) I learned the sound an exploding grenade makes when a young college kid heroically lands on it to save his love. (Spoiler alter It’s BWAWPH!!!) I will wait with much anticipation for the audio book version to be released. Though I have no inside knowledge, I would imagine it will be read deadpan by the authors and special guests much like they do with a certain tweeters offerings on the Gut Check podcast. (Side note also do not go check out the podcast if you take yourself overly serious.) On that note I end with a personal note to the authors “Thanks for a great rapture.”
Michael Woodard
@RMichaelWoodard
Lt. Col. Gut Check Army (I took the liberty of giving myself a raise in rank after that review. Hope that’s okay.)
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